Choosing an Au Pair

Posted by Lara in Child Care, Moms & Dads & Babies | Comments Off on Choosing an Au Pair

As I mention in my last three posts about child care, this is one of the biggest decision a parent makes when it comes to the wealth fare of their child/children. I have outlined a table of alternative child care if staying at home is not option, including nannies, Au Pairs and day care.

As the term Au Pair and nanny are often used interchangeably, it is worth pointing out that, in fact, Au Pairs provide very different childcare support from nannies. When deciding on child care options, I often mixed the two up, so it is common and most likely have to explain to people the difference.

Au Pair is a French phrase for “as an equal” – the idea is that an Au Pair becomes a temporary member of the family.

When you are choosing an Au Pair, it is recommended that you adopt a similar approach to the one you would use if you were selecting other types of in home (e.g., nannies, babysitters and/or family).

Au Pairs are entrusted with the well-being and safety of your children, so it is up to you as a parent to ensure they are capable of performing the tasks involved. It is also up to you as an employer to ensure that you treat them in a fair and professional manner and that they are abiding by the local immigration laws.

You can decide on the level of childcare experience and training you would like your Au Pair to have.

Similar to the post about choosing a nanny, you and your family need to assess your needs before moving forward with the Au Pair process.

• How many hours a week will you need the Au Pair to work (from 30 hours to 45 hours)?
• Are you willing to accept a male Au Pair?
• Are you willing to accept an Au Pair who smokes?
• What about one who has special dietary requirements (e.g., vegetarian, kosher, etc. (remember, you usually provide meals for them)?
• Do you need an Au Pair who drives?
• Will your Au Pair be required to look after pets?
• What about special interests or skills (e.g., swimming or infant care)?
• You will need to consider the level of English you would like your Au Pair to have. Depending on their age and personalities, your children may not be able to communicate with a person who has a limited vocabulary and may find it frustrating.
• Also well worth considering at interview stage is how well you think you and your children will get on with the Au Pair. What is her/his personality like? Is she/he outgoing?

Specifically in the United States – where I am from and the process I plan to describe in this post – the Au Pair are young travelers (between the ages of 18-26 years old) who enter the country under a specific, government-endorsed program which regulates their working conditions and the experience required to take on a job.

Au Pair Agencies

There are 14 major Au Pair agencies in the United States. The 14 sponsoring agencies in the U.S. have the responsibility to administer the Au Pair programs according to the regulations set forth by the U.S. Department of State (US-DOS).

Popular areas that most agencies service are mainly on the East and West coasts, including hot spots such as Washington DC, Maryland, Virginia, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Santa Barbara, New York,  New Jersey and Connecticut and major cities (Chicago, NYC, Boston, etc.).

If you like, you can review and pay for a subscription for Au Pair Agency reviews from Au Pair Clearing House.  I never purchased a subscription because I felt very comfortable with my own research and the word of mouth recommendations I received from trusted friends.

Personally, we chose Au Pair in America as our agency of choose for the following reasons:

• They had a larger pool of candidates to review, especially ones that specialize in infant care (any child under the age of two)
• Both the candidate and the host family have to go through an extensive process in order to be accepted into the program meaning more background checks, interviews, etc.
• Au Pair in America was more responsive and were able to assist us quickly.
• More detailed orientation than the other agency.
• We know several couples that use Au Pair in America and they are happy with their service.
• They have more Au Pairs from this agency in Washington, DC Metropolitan area than any other agency meaning that Au Pairs have a larger network to for the Au Pairs to make friends, etc. (More than 1200 in the Metropolitan area and 70 Au Pairs within in 10 mile radius of where we live).

To give you more guidelines on how to choose the appropriate agency for you, here is a good resource.

If you choose to go with an Au Pair there are several blogs and website that can answer a lot of your questions with regards to being a Host Family.

• Au Pair Mom
• Au Pair With Flair
• DC Moms Like Me

Things to Consider When Going with an Au Pair

Reactions and Messaging

As I mention in my post about Child Care Can Be Controversial, if your decision is to go the Au Pair route, be prepared to hear a lot of remarks from friends, family, neighbors, nosy coworkers, etc. “wow, you must make a lot of money” or “that must be really expensive, wish we could afford it” or have people imply that you must be “above” everyone else.  I think this is completely normal response and try not to get defensive.  I found before becoming a mom and having to look at daycare options, I had similar thoughts and reactions.

In order to diffuse your friends and families response and to make them more knowledgeable about your decision, I would come up with messaging that you and your spouse agree upon. For example, my husband and my response was, “yes, we chose this route because it is the most economically feasible option. We were very surprised about the cost of day care.  As well as, having an Au Pair allows us flexibility especially if we have to work late or would like to have a date night.  And having an Au Pair provides us a piece of mind knowing how and who will be caring for our son on a daily basis.  It was also important to us that our child receives the cultural experience an Au Pair provides.”

Here is a great video that highlights the affordability of an Au Pair.

Upfront Cost

There is more upfront cost when going the Au Pair route.  You generally have to pay an agency fee ranging anywhere from $225.00 – $285.00 to review and select your Au Pair.  Once you choose an Au Pair, you generally have to pay the program fee, which for Au Pair in America is $7,295.00.  You have the option to pay it all upfront or choose to pay over the course of three months.   Generally what is included in the program fee is:

• Recruitment, interviewing and selection of the Au Pair and host family
• Administrative and support services during the exchange
• Round trip transportation between designated cities abroad and the Au Pair orientation site
• Au Pair orientation and training
• Partial J-1 visa processing
• A portion of basic medical insurance
• Personal liability coverage
• A cultural workshop for the Au Pair
• A cultural workshop for the host family
• Unlimited access to online resources
• Rematching service should a replacement Au Pair be required to fulfill a host family’s contract year.

In addition to your upfront cost, you need to consider the cost of groceries for an extra adult, car insurance, tuition and course materials.

Again, good luck with your child care decision. If  you are still unsure about an Au Pair, check out the post on Choosing a Nanny or other Child Care Alternatives if Staying Home is not an Option.