Child Care Can Be Controversial

With the summer right around the corner, parents are starting to think about summer child care options especially for parents of young babies and toddlers.  There are so many options available, but they all come with a price. Although, child care is truly a decision between two parents, it is amazing to me what a hot and controversial topic child care is. People from all walks of life like to chime in and tell you what are the best child care option for you and your family.

Some people say, “Be a stay at home mom and it will solve your child care issues.” I can go on and on about why this is not feasible for all; in addition to, pros and cons to almost every child care option (family care, day care, nanny, nanny shares, Au Pair, in home day care, and etc). But this is not what the post is about; it is just a few of my thoughts on child care options and what we found works best for our family.

Being a stay at home mom/dad is not necessarily financially feasible option for every family or is not the best for “you” as the parent mentally. I use the word “mentally” meaning that some people (both mom’s and dad’s) are better parents if they work or have another purpose other than being “mom” and or “wife” (whether that be in the home or not).  People might disagree, but I believe a lot of women do not take this into account or factor this into their decision of being a Stay at Home Mom (SAHM); therefore – for some – their self worth tends to suffer and overspills into other areas (e.g., relationship with your spouse).

I did extensive research on child care – like most moms – before deciding what was best for us. What I discovered is day care where I live ranges any where between $400-$600 a week per child. A nanny cost approximately $50-$65K a year not including health care benefits.  We do live near family, but everyone has day jobs and are not in the position to watch our son. For us an Au Pair was the most financially feasible option and most flexible.  This was not an easy decision and of course before endeavoring into the world of Au Pairs, we did have several long discussions with other families that have Au Pairs.

Yes, like any other day care situation, you will get good au pairs and bad. To me the argument does not hold water than “you should stay home” because I seen horrible, irresponsible parents from all economic classes.  Who is to say that you will be a well adjusted adult/parent if you stay home? No one!

However, my advice to anyone if your decision is to go the Au Pair route, be prepared to hear a lot of remarks from friends, family, neighbors, nosy coworkers, etc. “wow, you must make a lot of money” or “that must be really expensive, wish we could afford it” or have people imply that you must be “above” everyone else.  I think this is completely normal response and try not to get defensive.  I found before becoming a mom and having to look at daycare options, I had similar thoughts and reactions.

In order to diffuse your friends and families response and to make them more knowledgeable about your decision, I would come up with messaging that you and your spouse agree upon. For example, my husband and my response was, “yes, we chose this route because it is the most economically feasible option. We were very surprised about the cost of day care.  As well as, having an Au Pair allows us flexibility especially if we have to work late or would like to have a date night.  And having an Au Pair provides us a piece of mind knowing how and who will be caring for our son on a daily basis.”

Here is a great video that highlights the affordability of an Au Pair.

Like I stated first, this is a personal/family decision and try not to judge others on their child care situations.